Confidence makes you shine brighter!
So, self-esteem if we break it down and talk about ‘self’, who are you as a person? Do you people please? Do you recognise your strength? Do you find yourself in situations where you're always being kind, by doing people favours and perhaps people around you just expect the generosity from you? Sometimes it can be too much, by giving a lot of your time, which takes away the time for you. Continuing with 'self' what about self reflection? I bet you don’t praise yourself for good things you do or progression that u make. It may feel like everything is a chore and too hard to reach. Perhaps you don’t feel worthy of much, because you stay in a place of comfort and certainty? How would it feel to come out of your comfort zone? It may feel scary because it's uncertain? Do you feel you self sabotage from being your own type of self, standing on your feet with worth and love but a niggling little voice says "you can't do that"? Now esteem, let me guess you don't value who you are anymore, your truths, your dreams, your goals or who you see in the mirror? You may have lost passion or confidence in yourself? Do you feel like you have just run out of steam, you try and try but there is no "I can do this"? Is something holding you back?
Perhaps you're the type of person that gives and gives and gives till there is no more. Yet you still won’t say “no” when needed and you feel guilty as you don’t find time to do things for yourself. You help everyone far better than yourself. Sounding familiar yet? Maybe you live in chaos and always seem to be busy? Do you notice you give great advice to those around you but never listen to yourself? That part of you that screams for some attention, that part of you that needs a little care. If that is you... start listening to your needs!
We all have an inner voice that taps in every now and again, well really, it’s there all the time but you select when to listen and reject it. It might start when you glance in the mirror and you question what do I wear!? Is it a good or bad hair day? Well people with low self-esteem have a critical, harsh inner voice. It may say things like “I hate myself”, “I’m so ugly”, “No one will ever love me”. This voice will start your day with a negative outlook and continue through the day. Almost like a constant drum in your head that won’t go away. Perhaps it makes you tired and feel drained, where your mind feels like it’s on overdrive constantly bringing you down? The inner voice just takes over with these nasty words. Which eventually becomes physical words coming out your mouth.
Could you ever imagine talking to your younger self with those words or your children or family members? You would never say those negative things, so why say it to yourself now!
Have you ever been told “you have low self esteem?” Do you feel you have low self esteem? If I was to say to you “you are happy”, “you are worthy”, “you are amazing”, “you are important”, “you are unique”, “you are you!” How many of those did you think yeah I am? If you didn’t feel a connection to any of them, maybe there is a lack of self importance, self motivation, self devotion, self love? And that can all come under low self esteem.
If you think about birth and how precious and 'perfect' a baby is, how it loves itself, loves the world and just loves unconditionally. That baby then grows up, learns some unhealthy habits, lives life in different situations, different people and more. Some of those precious 'perfect' beings start to feel doubt, unloved, unattractive, unhappy, unmotivated because they don’t love themselves anymore. They then attract the wrong party of friends and partners that treat them badly. Then self blame happens and they blame themselves when it goes wrong and you may notice whether this is you. Perhaps you constantly say sorry even if you did nothing wrong? Seeking approval and the need to feel wanted becomes more important. That might lead to living in debt, mistreating your body and your mind becomes overwhelmed. Everyone else deserves happiness not me, why would I deserve anymore than what I've got. Who am I? These are questions you might ask yourself.
Why should you be denied the joy of being alive, the beauty of life? Some people believe confidence comes naturally to people with good self-esteem. Does it? Think about some of the famous stars from past and future who are amazing on stage but are incredibly insecure. Confidence can be gained.
Learning how to acknowledge small successes in your life, learning how to congratulate yourself to build confidence, learning from mistakes to reinforce confidence and faking confidence till you become confident. If you entered a lift with someone you knew well enough to say a few words to, would you find the silences uncomfortable? Perhaps desperate for something to say, almost feeling yourself going red, stumbling over words? A confident person doesn’t think that way, they are comfortable with the silence but they will be thinking what can I say to put this person at ease? They might say a few words about the weather or something, but it will be natural and not forced because they are not trying, it just comes naturally.
If any of this page hits home for you please make that first step today by giving me a call or sending me a message. I have all the belief in you and I want you to find it within you. Step by step we can work together making each small success into one that lasts a lifetime.